I HATE THIS LIFE IM LIVING IN. SOMETIMES I WISH I WOULD BE GONE FOREVER. IM TIRED OF ALL THE PEOPLE TELLING ME WHAT AND NOT WHAT TO DO ALL I WANT IS TO LIVE MY OWN LIFE YOU PEOPLE SHOULDN’T CARE ABOUT THE LIFE IM LIVING, WORRY ABOUT YOURS. I PICKED THE GANGSTER LIFE IM STICKING TO IT TILL THE DAY I DIE. BUT ILL ALWAYZ STAND UP WITH MY HEAD HELD UP HIGH. MY MIND IS GOING KRAZY I HEAR VOICES IN MY HEAD. I HEAR MY PARENTS TELLING ME THAT THEY LOVE ME. I SEE MY CARNALITO GIVING ME A HUG. I SEE MY CARNALA LAUGHING AT THE SHTI WE USE TO DO. THEN AFTER ALL THOSE FLASHBACKS I SEE MYSELF IN THE MIRROR WITH A GUN TO MY HEAD. AND I SEE TEARS IN MY EYEZ I SAY TO MYSELF “THIS IS IT”. 1 BULLET OUT OF THIS GUN AND EVERYTHING IS GONE. THAT’S IT. THE GURL THAT ONCE EXISTED IN THIS FUCKED UP WORLD IS GONE AT A SNAP OF A FINGER. “HAHAHA” YEAH I TAKE MY LAST LAUGH. BECAUSE EVENTHOUGH I WAS IN THIS BITCH WORLD NOBODY SAW ME FALL LIKE THIS. NO MATTER HOW HARD THEY HIT ME AND NOWW IM MAKING MYSELF FALL LIKE THIS??? FUCK I CANT BELIEVE IT. AFTER ALL THE SHIT IVE BEEN THROUGH IM THE ONE ENDING MY LIFE. I ASK MYSELF. WHY NOW??? WHY KILL MYSELF NOW??? HOW COME I DIDN’T DO IT WHEN I WAS GOING TO MY ROUGH TIMES??? BUT I DON’T GET ANSWERZ “GOD PLEASE ANSWER ME!!!! SHOULD I STAY??? OR SHOULD I PULL THIS TRIGGER”?? MY HANDS ARE SWEATING TEARS STILL KEEP FALLING OFF MY EYEZ. WHEN IM ABOUT PULL THE TRIGGER. I HEAR A KNOCK … I DON’T PAY ATTENTION. I HEAR IT AGAIN. AND I HEAR A VOICE FROM THE DOOR “SISTER DON’T DO IT, PLEASE I LOVE YOU” YEAH THAT VOICE I HEAR IS MY CARNALITOS VOICE THAT KEEPS ME ALIVE EVERYDAY HE MAKES ME SNAPP BACK TO REALITY. I DROPPED THE GUN. WHEN THE GUN HIT’S THE FLOOR I SEE THE DOOR OPEN AND THE SUN SHOOTS THE BULLET. WHEN I TURN AROUND I FEEL IT GO THROUGH MY HEAD. I SEE MYSELF FALL BACK AND LAND ON MY CARNALITOS ARMS ALL I SAY BEFORE MY LAST BREATH WAS “IM SORRY AND I LUV YOU CARNAL” HE HOLDS MY HAND. IT FALLS TO THE GROUND. FUCK!!! I SEE MYSELF LAYING THERE WITH A BULLET IN MY HEAD. I SEE MY CARNAL CRYING AND SCREAMING AS I SEE THE COPZ PULLING HIM AWAY FROM MY BODY. I HEAR HIM SCREAMING “NO” THE COPS PULL A BLANKET OVER MY HEAD. BUT FOR SOME REASON I SCREAM “NO!!!! IM STILL ALIVE CANT YOU SEE. I STILL WANNA LIVE. I KNOW I CAN CHANGE I KNOW I CAN. GOD HEAR ME OUT, IM ON MY KNEES GIVE ME MY LIFE BACK PLEASE GOD!!!!” AS I FADE AWAY FROM THIS WORLD. I WAKE UP SWEATING AND CRYING AND SAYING “OHH SHIT!!! IT WAS A DREAM”
SO TO ALL PEOPLE OUT THERE THINKING OF KILLING THEMSELVES THINK ABOUT IT TWICE. BECAUSE YOU DONG KNOW HOW MUCH YOU FAMILY IS GOING TO BE SUFFERING YOU THINK LEAVING THIS WORLD EVERYTHING WILL FADE AWAY. YEAH MAYBE TO YOU BUT TO YOUR FAMILY , IT WOULD LEAVE THEM A BURDEN AND A BROKEN HEART. SO KEEP YOUR HEAD UP HELD HIGH!!! AND DON’T MAKE YOURSELF FALL DOWN LIKE THIS … KEEP WALKING YOULL FIND YOUR SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEMZ.
BY: MZ.3V!L
11/8/08 @ 9:37pm
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THANX MIJO .:M¡ MºM §ª¥§ ¡ ¢ªN R€ª¢H TH€ §K¥ ¡F ¡ TR¡€D BUT WH¥ Dº€§ §H€ ¢R¥ WH€N ¡M H¡GH TR¥¡N 2 F£¥?.:
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___________DATZ REAL HOMEGIRL ____________~shORty VCL x3~_____________ |
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